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The Power of Silence
Ask yourself if what you
are about to say would be an improvement on silence. -Baba Hari Dass
We emerge into the silence
of awe, the stillness of the world holding its breath while new life is
birthed. As babies we are seeped in the silence between the spiritual
realm and the physical realm. We are open vessels, expressing our joys
and pains without any static or interference from the mind. We do not
question whether it is right or wrong to have a particular emotion, we
simply are.
Gradually this open, clear
channel begins to fill with the noise of the outside world-other people's
expectations, fears, desires, hopes, which soon become our expectations,
fears, desires, hopes. As we mature, our once clear channel to Spirit
is filled with structured static-false agreements of who we should be,
of who we could be, of who we believe we are.
Going Within
Last year at Lent, I choose
to undertake an extended silence as a means to reclaim this place of pure
being. I sought to open myself fully to the music of the Universe, and
I sensed that the only way to truly do this was go deep into myself to
clear out the old soundtracks within me that looped over and over again.
I began my journey on Ash
Wednesday with a small white board and blue erasable pen, a notepad, and
a new message on my answering machine: "Hi, this is Heather Ash. I'm in
silence for the next forty days, leave me a message and I'll call you
back after Easter."
During my silence I lived alone
in an isolated cabin with no electricity, two miles down a dirt logging
road, forty five minutes out of town. Sometimes I would sit and imagine
I was soaking the surrounding silence into my pores. Other times I would
crave a simple phone conversation with a friend. At work I would still
answer the phone, paying attention to my words, but I wrote plenty of
notes to communicate with my boss. In the world I carried my whiteboard
everywhere. I choose to speak when I taught classes, but remained in silence
with my friends and strangers. My close friendships deepened as I learned
to listen with my full attention, and I spent many wonderful hours in
silence simply enjoying a friend's energy. The long periods during this
time of isolation and silence strengthened my will, and helped wean me
from my dependency on people for approval and acknowledgement.
As I relaxed into myself, I
became more alive to the subtleties around me-the slick warmth of the
water caressing my skin as I took a shower, the softness of the wind fanning
the cedars and pines at dusk, the sharp smell of smoke as I kindled the
wood stove each morning, shivering in the darkness of early morning spring.
But before reaching this place of inner peace, I had a journey through
my own mind to undertake.
Stilling the Mind
True silence comes not simply
from the act of not speaking, but from the mind becoming still as a mirror
lake. During the first few weeks of not speaking, my isolation and silence
did not bring me sudden inner quiet, but the exact opposite-I found myself
embroiled in the middle of a painful churning of thoughts and desires.
At first I wondered: where did all of this noise in my head come from?
I felt as if I had been invaded by an alien force. As I pierced more deeply
into the static, I knew that the words which swirled in my head like a
swollen river had always been with me. My silence had simply quieted my
outer reality enough to reveal the unconcious banter I constantly carried
with me.
By the end of the first week
of my word fast, the chaos of my mind had broken through any vestiges
of control I had over my thoughts. The voices in my head seemed to explode
full force on my drive to work: "Drive slower around the corners, you
might go over the cliff..." a voice screamed, and I was living what would
happen if I did go over the cliff, imagining being trapped in a car plummeting
down a ravine into the river below... "You're going to be late for work
again..." followed by a review and beratement of all the times I had been
late for work, the judging words of my boss, images of being fired, and
being desitute and without a job... "You are worthless..." as my mind
picked through old dramas and painful situations in my life, judging me
mercilessly for past mistakes and perceived character flaws...
These thoughts were like a
river, raging and foaming through my conciousness. When I was able to
maintain my distance from the flow, I perceived that the seed of these
wild, uncontrolled emotional eddies came from deep within my unconcious
self. These negative thoughts and emotions had always been with me, working
beneath the surface, like underground streams. While I had often been
completely unaware of them, I saw how most actions in my life were fed
by these dirty waters. The openness and lack of distraction that came
from removing myself from the talking world allowed me to pierce the veils
of my conscious and unconscious self. By using the energy I normally spent
communicating with people, which I now saw as energy spent mostly defending
my sense of self and my personality, I gained the ability to see deeper
into my own nature.
Divining the Seed of Chaos
One night before bed I pulled
a tarot card from The Motherpeace Tarot - the eight of cups. The picture
shows an octopus holding eight cups, surrounded by dark blue, and speaks
of deep emotional processing. That night I dreamt of a creature like an
octopus which lived inside of my belly, and produced a dark, gooey ink
to keep itself hidden from sight. When I awoke I knew that the ink was
the drama I created in my life and the thoughts of doom and destruction
which cycled in my mind. I had spent years cleaning up the ink in my life,
and while for a short time I would feel clear, in reality I was getting
nowhere because I hadn't stopped the source of the contamination. The
"octopus" had so successfully kept itself hidden that I didn't even stop
to think there might be a deeper source. The dark ink was only an illusion--shadows
and not reality. The cups in the tarot card represented my old agreements.
At the core of the octopus was a seed that eternally polluted the water
of my mind through these old agreements. The seed which grew the guardian
octopus was fear.. In the past this seed of fear would have constantly
pushed me to communicate with symphoies of words and theaters of masks-I
am a good person, I am a good person, I am a good person-because the fear
seed fed the old agreements-I am a bad person. I am not worthy. People
will not like me.
Sometimes the fear would slip
all the way through, and I would find myself sabatoging relationships,
friendships, opportunities-simply to ensure that these unconsious agreements
were upheld. By taking away a huge tool to making sure those agreement
were upheld in the world-the spoken word-the agreements began to slowly
crumble. I saw how I lived in two realms-to the outside world I used words
and mask to show I was a good person. On the inside I felt this was a
charade, but I had to hide my inner judge which had condemned me as worth
very little to the world. My silence gave me the piercing vision to see
to the core of the octopus, to turn over the cups of stale agreements
and begin to make new agreements, and to see that beneath the octupus
of fear there was a vast place of pure love. I saw how this place of peace
and love had always been inside of me, just like the chaos. When I found
the courage to go beyond the veils of fear created by the octopus, and
then to even go past the octopus itself, there was a deep place of peace.
As my silence continued, by
week three and four the words I used to communicate in my emails and on
my little white board became sparser and more compact. I went to a meeting
where normally I would have been one of the ones talking the most, contributing
ideas and debating, and was quite happy to sit and listen to the process.
My ego began to see that I didn't need to make myself known in groups,
I didn't have to contribute words or ideas. Each encounter with groups
I became more and more relaxed and happy-there was nothing I needed to
do or be or uphold. I didn't need to defend or justify my self, I could
simply rest in the vast sweet space beneath fear.
Connecting with Spirit
Malidoma Some speaks of his
tribe, the Dagara of Africa, and their system of hierarchy - plants are
the most revered, as they are completely silent, and therefore their connection
to Spirit is the most pure. Animals come next in the heirarchy, since
they make sounds to communicate. Last are humans, since we choose to use
speech to communicate, which immediately takes us away from truth, from
what it.
Our words are an impossible
attempt at putting structure to the vast formlessness of Spirit, of pure
life. Sinking into silence gives us the chance to commune directly with
Magic. Since we don't need to interpret or create a word-based structure
for our experiences, we can know from the same energetic level as the
rocks and plants. This deep knowing allows us to be present in each moment,
without expectations or fear or doubt. Suddenly, everything around us
becomes our friend, our lover, our teacher. The trees, the cars, the buildings,
the flowers all sing their messages directly into our souls. And we wordlessly
sing back. Spirit speaks to us through cats, through pebbles, through
strangers. And we can finally allow ourselves to hear and be open to the
power of life dancing around and through us.
Completion
On my way home from work the
Thursday before Easter I stopped to get groceries. At the checkstand a
man who had been talking with the cashier began to include me in the conversation,
and I realized I had left my voice - the whiteboard - in my car. I smiled
and nodded politely. As I paid the bill the cashier said-"Hey, why don't
you help take her groceries to her car?" I was about to refuse when a
voice inside of me said, 'let him do it.' I had learned to trust that
voice completely, so I nodded in acceptance and we walked to the car.
He continued to chat away,
and as we put the groceries in the back seat I grabbed my whiteboard and
wrote: "I've been in silence for forty days." He froze, stared at me hard.
I waited in this suspended moment, open to the universe. He finally spoke:
"I don't usually do this, but I believe you will understand." He bowed
to me, then kneeled down to place his forehead to my feet. "That is for
the Divine Mother." Another bow and he was gone.
And this is how I knew my
time of silence was complete.
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