Blessingways - Handfastings - Memorials

 

Blessingways

Blessingways are a sacred celebration of the beginning of a new life. Please check back for a more complete description.

Handfastings

Handfasting weaves the lives of two individuals together. Traditionally, a handfasting ceremony was a commitment for a year and a day, for two people to go through each of the seasons together. Today, handfasting can be done for a couple wishing to commit to each other for a year and a day and then reaffirm their connection each year.

When a couple is handfasted, a priest or priestess ties a piece of yarn around their wrists to signify their union. Couples can choose to do a handfasting ceremony on their own, within their community, or as part of their wedding ceremony.

Below are two handfasting/wedding ceremonies. As you plan your own ceremony, feel free to be creative. Pick and choose between different ceremonies, involve your friends and family. You do not need to stick to any particular ceremony or tradition. IÕve been involved in weddings that were a combination of traditional Catholic, Hindu and paganism. This is your day, a day to honor the union with your beloved with the support of your community. What do you want to create? Make it joyous, and give yourself plenty of time to prepare!

Ceremony #1

Bell person calls people into the chapel by ringing his singing bowl. (At this point, Bell person is standing at the main door to the chapel.)

Two ushers make sure people catch this cue and start to get seated. There is no formal seating other than the first rows being reserved for Bride & Groom's families.

Musician begins playing hammered dulcimer. He will play for 2-3 minutes, then stop once most people are seated. When Musician stops playing, Bell person will ring bowl a second time, this time from near the altar. This is Priestess and Priest's cue to enter from the garden doors in back of the altar. After each places a flower in the blue vase on the altar, they will take their places at the little "podiums."

PRIEST: "Greetings. Welcome on this beautiful spring day as we celebrate Bride & Groom's marriage. They have asked me to tell you how honored they are to have their families and friends here to share this rite of passage with them."

PRIESTESS: Bride and Groom have asked their friend to begin the ceremony by singing one of their favorite songs, "Give Yourself to Love," by Kate Wolf.

SINGER: I'd like to teach you the chorus first so that we can sing it together to welcome Bride and Groom . It goes like this:

Give yourself to love If love is what you're after

Open up your heart to all the

Tears and laughter

Give yourself to love...

Natalie sings song. On first chorus, everyone joins in. While they're singing GroomÕs mom walks Groom to the altar, also entering from the garden doors. Both place a flower in the blue vase. GroomÕs mom leaves Groom at the altar and takes her seat.

On next chorus, usher cues nieces to walk down the aisle, side by side. Niece #1 stands on Bride's side, leaving room for Bride. Niece #2 stands at Groom's side. On the next chorus, usher cues Bride's parents and Bride. BrideÕs parents will escort Bride down the aisle. All three will place a flower in the blue vase; BrideÕs parents will take their seats. After Bride is at altar, friend finishes singing.

Priestess says: Bride and Groom, your families and friends have gathered here today to witness and bless your joining in sacred marriage. Mother Earth, Father Sky, I call upon you to witness the joining of these two spirits by the tree of life: By the roots for a strong foundation for this relationship. By the trunk, for standing firm and proud. By the leaves to grow and prosper together. By the flowers for joy and laughter. By the fruits for a long and enduring relationship.

PRIEST: Several of Bride and Groom's friends wish to offer blessings to the bride and groom. (This is EastÕs cue.)

EAST: Bless this marriage with your sacred Air. Give them clarity of thought and communication, and lightness of being. She lights YELLOW candle.

SOUTH: Bless this marriage with your sacred Fire. Sustain their passion, and keep always warm their hearts and hearth. She lights MAGENTA candle.

WEST: Bless this marriage with your sacred Waters. Let them always trust in their emotions, and let love and compassion flow through their lives. He lights PURPLE candle.

NORTH: Bless this marriage with your sacred Earth. Give them wisdom within their relationship, prosperity in their partnership, harmony within their community, and a place in the natural world. He lights GREEN candle.

PRIEST: Bless these two as they come together in the eyes of the God and the Goddess. ( Bride and Groom light the white God and Goddess candles on the altar. At this point, those who called in the directions may blow out their candles and be seated.) There is an important lesson in marriage, namely that we must give ourselves to love without giving ourselves away. A marriage that lasts is one in which each partner is growing individually while at the same time working to enhance the partnership. The essence of this commitment is the taking of another person in his or her entirety, as lover, companion and friend. It is therefore a decision which is not to be made lightly, but entered into with great consideration and respect for both the other person and one's self. Bride and Groom have been friends for 15 years, and it is out of this friendship and trust that a lasting love has grown. They have helped each other grow, witnessed the other's mistakes and cheered each other's successes. They are drawn together by their love of the Earth, their devotion to community, and their commitment to the Garden Path. To be in their presence is to witness a loving partnership built on a very strong foundation.

PRIESTESS: Shares personal story of couple getting together. Now someone else who has known them both for a long time -- Groom's brother, - would like to offer a blessing in honor of this occasion. Brother speaks....

HANDFASTING PRIESTESS: In ancient times, marriage was not institutionalized. In the cycle of living things, there came a season for joining together in sacred purpose, before the gods, and before the watching eyes of loving friends. A woman and man who wished to marry would simply marry themselves to one another. Bride and Groom have chosen to marry each other, to commit themselves to a lasting partnership based on love, trust and a hopeful vision for the shared future. Priestess wraps ribbon around their wrists, saying: "Before the loving eyes of this community, what vows do you, Groom, offer?"

GROOM: "Namastˇ, Bride. I honor the Goddess within you. You are my soulmate, and I want you to be my wife. May we walk together on our path, and work together in our home space. I promise to continue nurturing you, to help you reach your full potential, and to always speak the truth to you. I love you and am honored you will marry me.'

PRIESTESS: "Before the loving eyes of this community, what vows do you, Bride, offer?"

BRIDE: "Namastˇ, Groom. I honor the God within you. I respect you, seek shelter in you, know joy with you, travel my path with you. I promise to continue nurturing you, to help you reach your full potential, and to always speak the truth to you. I love you and am honored you will marry me."

PRIESTESS: "Bride and Groom, may the love that brought you here today bind your souls together so that you may always know comfort in each other's presence." Priestess cuts the ribbon. EXCHANGE OF RINGS

PRIEST: Bride and Groom have also chosen to exchange rings, symbols of eternal love and lasting devotion. Groom, do you have a ring?

Groom gets ring from Niece. He turns toward BrideÕs parents and says "BrideÕs parents, thank you for bringing Bride into this world, and for providing her with a strong foundation and a positive role model for marriage." Groom turns toward Bride.

Priest says: "This ring is a symbol of your pledge to Bride, and to all of us here, that you will encircle her with your love, your care, and your protection; that whatever happens, she can depend on you. Will you pledge yourself to this? GROOM: Places ring on Bride's finger and says, "I will."

PRIEST: "Bride, do you have a ring?" Bride gets ring from Niece . She turns towards GroomÕs mom and says : "My thanks to you and GroomÕs father for bringing Groom into this world, and for providing him with a strong foundation and a positive role model for marriage." Bride turns toward Groom.

Priest says: "This ring is a symbol of your pledge to Groom, and to all of us here, that you will encircle him with your love, your care, and your protection; that whatever happens, he can depend on you. Will you pledge yourself to this?"

BRIDE: Places ring on Groom's finger and says, "I will."

PRIEST: Bride and Groom, the vows you make today formalize your deep commitment to each other. Since you have pledged yourselves to one another in the presence of this family gathered here, let it be acknowledged that you are husband and wife. There is no moral in love except the moral to love more deeply. We can expect nothing from love except what love gives. We cannot choose what chances and changes may befall us, but we can shape the spirit with which we meet them. May you both, in accepting the love and affection of family and friends gathered here, do your best to return that love to the world. Merry meet, and merry part, and merry meet again! Bride and Groom, you may kiss!!

Bride & Groom "Jump the Broom" and exit the church. Musician plays dulcimer music as people are leaving the chapel.

Ceremony #2

Ceremony Procession

Best men come in from east side and stand at altar (Each person that proceeds to the altar places a flower in the red vase and then goes to their place)

Bridesmaids enter from right Kids come down center aisle

Friend places blanket in center

Groom walks to center, Bride walks to center, We meet in center

Groom lifts my veil

Groom and I do heart salutation

Priestess speaks: "We will begin the marriage ceremony with an invocation. The purpose of this invocation is to extend a ritual invitation for ancestral, archetypal energies to join with and strengthen this ceremony and container. Ceremony requires a departure from the normal limits of our rational minds. Therefore, we invite as participants in the process the energies of those who have gone before us, our ancestors, our fathers and grandfathers, our mothers and grandmothers, those whose energy support and protect us during this ceremony and beyond. We call on the energies of the elements and the four directions to renew our experience of the ancient wisdom of the relatedness of all beings, the unity of all things"

People in the four directions ring tibetan bowls for one to two minutes Calling in the directions and the elements East, South, West, North

Priestess invites the parents to call in the blessings of the ancestors

Parents call in ancestors standing where they are in their chairs I honor and call on the blessing of my father and mother and grandfather and grandmother

Groom parents go first and then BrideÕs parents; Moment of stillness with music (Music changes) Wedding march as Groom takes Bride's arm and they walk down the rest of the aisle to altar

Priestess To our assembled guests and on behalf of Bride and Groom, I welcome you to this sacred ceremony. I welcome you Bride and Groom to this moment in your lives and to the place you have come to in each other's hearts. We join with you on this day as you commit before the Divine Spirit and humanity that from this point forward you shall live as one. I remind all of our guests that you have been invited here for a sacred purpose, not only to witness, but to participate fully with your thoughts and prayers, asking that this couple be blessed in their married life. You are here because this couple feels close to you and asks that you join with them in this dedication of sacred purpose. You represent symbolically all the people in the world who will be touched in many ways by the life of this couple. You represent their friends and family, now and forever. They have chosen this act of marriage and this public, holy ceremony in which to proclaim it. I congratulate you on the journey of your lives, on the strength and courage it has taken for each of you to make your way to this place. May the fruits of your union bring blessings to your lives and to the lives of those around you.

Priestess: On Love from the Prophet

Each parent lights a candle and says a blessing

Bride circles Groom three times smudging him and then sings to him

Groom circles Bride three times while ringing the bell and then he anoints her chakras with gratitude and blessing

Friend reads a poem on love

Ring exchange ( a symbol that represents the qualities we are calling in )

Priestess says: "Rings are symbols of the circle of life and the two rings together are a symbol of infinity. A symbol of timeless love and creation. Both Bride and Groom will each wear half of the infinity sign as reminders of the unity and the infinite nature that is within each of them and within their love. Bless these rings and the symbols they represent"

Groom I give you this ring as a symbol of my honor and love for you always. May it remind you of my love and support for all of who you are and all of who you are to become. May our union feed your soul and comfort you always. May our union nourish and sustain you in bringing forth your greatest gifts. Know that this ring holds the joy and gratitude I feel for sharing my life with you, with your king, your warrior, the magician and my ever loving shiva. May our lives be blessed, may you always be safe, may my heart be your shelter and my arms be your home. May we walk together through all things with great joy and fullness of being... I love you Bride I give you this ring...

Vows

Do you Groom take Bride to be your wife? Do you vow to love her, comfort her, honor her, protect her and be faithful to her as long as you both shall live? I do

Do you Bride take Groom to be your husband? Do you vow to love him, comfort him, honor him, protect him and be faithful to him as long as you both shall live? I do

Priestess puts our hands together and we repeat after her

I, Bride take you Groom To be my husband To have and to hold From this day forward For better or for worse For richer or poorer In sickness and in health To love and to cherish Till death do us part

I, Groom take you Bride

Priestess says: With this elixer your vows are sealed (Bride and Groom drink from the cup) Oh heavenly father and divine mother, Bless this couple, may their love be nurtured always and forever. May you watch over them and help them be strong in their love. I now pronounce you man and wife You may kiss the bride Ladies and gentlemen I now present to you Bride and Groom

 

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Memorials

Blessingways are a sacred celebration of the completion of an individual's life. Please check back for a more complete description.

 

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